Thursday 25 September 2014

Ed Miliband's 2014 Conference Speech

Let's face it Ed Miliband's speech was rather boring, and depressing.

If you were watching abroad, you'd have wondered why immigrants fight to get over here so much, he made Britain sound like an open prison.

And things only got worse for Miliband, he forgot half his speech, perhaps parading around the stage trying look cool, and "in touch" isn't the best way to remember your lines, or look like a true statesman. 

Sadly for Ed, it was fairly obvious he'd forgotten a large part of it:


"One vote at a time. I said to her “how are you voting?” she said “I haven’t decided yet.”
Turned out her name was Josephine. She worked as a cleaner in the building."
Or my other favourite, particularly, slow moment:
"You know, the other day I was in the park. I was actually trying to work on my speech, believe it or not, and I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I went to the park and there were two young women who were in the park and they seemed excited to see me and they came over. "

We gathered you went to the park the first time you said it. So not only was it a boring speech, it was a patronising.

According to Ed, the Scot's are very undecided people, despite the NO campaign winning by a larger margin than anyone had polled or predicted.

Also that everybody, unless you're a millionaire, is extremely poor, living on the breadline, fir instance:

"Like a young woman called Xiomara who works in a pub near where I live.

She lives at the opposite end of the country from Josephine. She’s separated by at least a generation. But they share a common experience. Xiomara couldn’t afford to go to college. So she got a job in the pub kitchen nearby, washing dishes. She’s worked incredibly hard and she’s worked her way up to be one of the chefs.

But like for Josephine, life by Xiomara is incredibly tough. And by the way, she thinks politics is rubbish. And let’s not pretend we don’t hear that a lot on the doorstep. What does she see in politics? She sees drift. She doesn’t think we can solve her problems, now we’ve got to prove her wrong. And it’s not just that people like Xiomara and Josephine are struggling with the problems of today and millions of other people."

My favourite line "She thinks politics is rubbish." Yes Ed, she does, because leaders like you are giving the most boring, uninspiring speeches every written.



He then went all 'New Labour' on us, repeating his word of the moment three times: "Together, together, together." But unlike Blair's original repeat, it sounded like, ironically, the advert for a loan company.

He also went into stereotyping mode, apparently anyone who is supporter, or voter for the Tories are:

"gold mining, luxury hotel owning, Putin award winning, Russian oligarch, and you have got a £160,000 to spare to bid in an auction, you won’t be on your own; you will be on tennis court playing doubles, with David Cameron."
Why wasn't I told this earlier?! If only I knew I was a gold mining, luxury hotel owning, Putin award winning, Russian oligarch, who's got £160,000 to spare to bid in an auction, playing tennis doubles with David Cameron!!!

But my favourite of the whole speech was his, at least passionate, standing up bid:

"That’s why I stood up to Rupert Murdoch over phone hacking."

Is standing up to Rupert Murdoch being pictured with The Sun three times? No Ed, no it isn'tand by my reckoning, it was the last Labour government, which he was Energy Minister, that turned a blind eye to the phone hacking scandal.


"That’s why I stood up to the banks over bonuses. That’s why I stood up to the payday lenders over their exploitation of the poorest people in our country. That’s why I stood up to the energy companies over their profits and prices"

Can someone please tell me when he stood up banks, and when he says he stood up to the payday lenders, how? By stealing their slogan of 'together'? His claim of standing up to the energy companies is laughable, as when he was energy minister, prices rocketed, because of his green levy tax, and most recently they rocketed when he 'promised' to cap prices, so thanks Ed, for standing up to these people…

So all in all for me, Ed's speech was funny, for all the wrong reasons, boring, predictable, and patronising.




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